Wendy Nolin - Own Your Greatness (G2617)

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We have again a couple more guests to go. We've been having just a wonderful, terrific show. We've interviewed over 750 advisors, authors, and thought leaders, and we've archived all of their information, all of their interviews into 40 different topic file folders that you will find at exaoachradio.com in the audio library, and the topics scan every span everything from starting your business, growing your business, uh. Uh, family business issues, retaining key employees, investing, uh, benefits and life after exit, lots of different topics, so please join us, won't you and tell your friends about it. My next guest is Wendy Nolan from Wendy Nolan Worldwide in Austin, and Wendy turns B players into A players and A players into rock stars, and she's going to talk about her upcoming book Own Your Greatness, which is expected to be re-released a little bit later this summer. So Wendy, welcome to the show. Thanks for joining us. Thank you, Bill. I appreciate being here. How's it going today? It's going great. We, you know, I, I love this part of my life where we interview people, get their ideas, their tips and precautions, and, and help people to learn about things they need to know about like how to become great, how to how to play their A game. So let's talk about that, Wendy. How'd you get started and when did you realize that you had this ability to help people elevate their game? Oh, great question. So you know, my 1st 18 years in the in the world of work I spent in the corporate world, and it wasn't until the debacle of 2008 nailed our economy that I had an epiphany. Um, but it wasn't an overnight epiphany. I actually quit my job in 2008, and it took me about six months of, um, fruitless attempts to try and figure out what I was gonna do next, before I realized that smart people asked for help, and I decided, well, I'm pretty smart, so I guess I, I should ask for help. And that's what I did. I asked for help in the form of hiring a coach. And it was through working with my own coach that I discovered that what I was good at that I liked to do from my past 18 years in the corporate world was, in fact, coaching and training and um helping my team develop. And that's when I realized, oh well, I think I can make a full-time gig out of this, so that's what I did in 2008. I decided to turn my what I'm good at that I like to do into my full-time business and took my first client at the end of 2008, beginning of 2009, and I don't feel like I've worked a day since. Well, I wanted to ask you about that. That's, that's a fantastic story and a lot of our listeners are in that. time of their life when they're thinking, I want to transition to something else. I want to do. I don't want to retire. I want to rewire my life. I want to do something that I've always wanted to do. How did, and I've heard from many people that when you find that thing that is right for you, it feels like something in your life has snapped into place. How did you feel like you just said you feel like you've never worked a day since then. Tell us about how you felt after that snapped in for you. Oh gosh, it's just so liberating because, you know, it's, that's kind of what I incorporate into my own practice now is helping people get to that point. And you know, I encounter people every day that are absolutely paralyzed with fear of uh choosing the wrong career or, or continuing to travel down the career path that they're on in, in dread and terror because they're so unhappy. And you know, when I discovered that I could take my, my existing skill set and reposition it and you know, really. Harness the existing skills, talents, natural abilities that I already possessed and turn it into a career. It was just the most profound, liberating feeling, and it filled me with confidence. And it, it eliminated that fear almost overnight. So probably one of the most exhilarating experiences of my life without being on a roller coaster. And that's great. That's great. What people need to hear is that you don't have to learn a new skill or a new career. You can a lot of times you can take your experiences uh because they're unique to you and turn them into a career. That's fantastic. So let's talk about, let's talk about your book on on your greatness. How did you come up with this topic for, for the book idea? You know, it was really interesting. I found myself um writing a blog post back in January at the invitation of um the owner of a website called Richtopia. And he said, you know, I'd like you to write something that is uh unique that you've not pub published anywhere else. And what I had been observing about my clients was that they almost invariably every single client that I worked with. The very first session was all about their mindset and I discovered that pretty much across the board, all of my clients were suffering from a deservability issue. And they were suffering from this deservability issue because they didn't own their greatness. And when I started working with them, I, I was just aghast at how beat up they were, um, you know, emotionally with regards to their self-confidence. And this was the primary factor that was holding them back in success in their career or in their business, if they're a business owner. And so, as I started to dig into this, I wrote this blog post. And then I realized, OK, this is bigger than just a blog post. There's a book here. And so I just finished the first draft of the book last week. Um, and I'm, you know, going through the process now of redrafting and then editing and all that. So I'm expecting to be able to publish later in the summer, but it's been a pretty amazing experience to observe that this is not an uncommon phenomenon, but it's actually pretty common. There's a lot of people walking around on this planet that are really suffering because of what's going on between their ears. And so you use the term deservability which says to me that people are thinking, I, I don't deserve this. I don't, I'm not worthy of, of doing this. And so, so why would, and I've heard this from people who say, you know, why would anybody listen to me? Is that what we're talking about? Mhm. Right, exactly, you know, and, and it's a little bit broader than that, but you, you've, you've touched on the tip of the iceberg, and it's, it's that, you know, some of us are walking around with that imposter syndrome like, oh my gosh, if somebody finds out that I really don't know what I'm talking about, you know, my career is sunk and um that's part of it. But also when I'm talking um with and working with business owners or executives. The deserveability is they don't feel like they deserve to be successful and they don't deserve to earn more money and they don't deserve to ask for and get what they want and they don't feel like they deserve to, you know, achieve the success that they envision for themselves. So they're walking around with this deservability issue and they're really slowing themselves down when it's, we could eliminate that deservability issue and turn it from lack to abundance. Then they could have and do and be everything that they want. So is that the first step in owning your greatness and, and what does it mean to own your greatness? Well, what it means to own your greatness is very individual for everyone. You know, I'm not, uh, the book does not purport to define what greatness is for the reader. That's actually one of the chapters in the book is about learning how to define your own greatness. Because for one person it could be that they want, you know, that they, they are great in business and they are great at providing excellent leadership. For another person it might be being a great team player. For another person, it might be being a great parent or a great Um, you know, member of society, whatever it is for that person, it's very individual, and you're right, one of the first steps to owning their greatness is deservability. In fact, that's the first chapter is, you know, really understanding. What it means to get over your your lack um mentality and your, your deservability issues because that's the biggest thing that's holding people back from stepping into and really owning their greatness. And owning your greatness is, uh, starts starts with owning the fact that you deserve this because you're a unique person, you have unique experiences, you have something worthy to share with the world, and then from there, um, owning an attitude that because of all of that, um, you have a a greatness, but how do you turn that into How do people uh demonstrate that, I guess that's my question. You know, uh, it goes back to that being very individual. How you demonstrate it doesn't have to be, um, you know, on the continuum of greatness, right, at the very far end, one end is feeling worthless. And then at the other far end of the spectrum, the opposite end is the pompous jerk that nobody really likes, you know. So owning your greatness isn't smack dab in the, in the middle. I think being uh in a position of owning your greatness is between the middle and the pompous jerk, right? You have to have a little bit of ownership, but you can't have too much humility because then you're kind of giving your power away. So how owning your greatness shows up for you. It is very individual, but it's, it's an inner confidence. And it's the confidence to know that you're great at something and you're better at something than somebody else, right? You may not be the best tennis player or the best uh motorcycle rider or the best, uh, you know, I'm using some crazy examples here, the best stunt man, but you may be great at something. And I just want people to have permission to own it and to say, yeah, I am better at this than somebody, you know, I know that I am better at coaching. Than some of my peers simply because of my experience and the caliber of people that I've worked with and the number of people that I've worked with, and it's OK for me to say that because if I don't say that, then my clients are going to be less inclined to hire me because I'm not going to be able to help them elevate in their own confidence. So it's just, again, it goes back to owning your confidence and how that shows up is going to be unique to each person. But really, it's all about, you know, stepping into that inner confidence and really believing in yourself. And it goes back to, you know, this is one of the chapters, it's something that I call the epidemic of over humility, which comes from our programming from when we're young, very young, you know, the people that are in our lives that influence us, they influence everything that we believe and think. And what I like about this, when you obviously it's, it's positive reinforcement and it's, it gives people a format, a thought for how to uh talk to themselves, if you will, between their their thinking brain and and their emotional brain and we talked about this earlier in the show with someone who's talking about how, uh, you know, we we stress stresses a lot of times between our ears as well and we can, we can calm ourselves down and have an attitude of gratitude, but what you're also. Saying is having an attitude of greatness because you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be on this planet at this time with the specialized knowledge that you have if you couldn't somehow use it for some kind of a great endeavor to help people. So I would imagine that gratitude comes with the attitude as well. Absolutely. You have to start with gratitude, be grateful because, you know, I wake up some days and on my worst days, I will just remind myself, I'm grateful that I live in the United States where we still have a lot more freedom than many people. And I live in, uh, you know, a, a, a home where I have running water and air conditioning and refrigeration. You know, sometimes I just revert back to the basics. Just to really put some perspective around, um, whatever I may be struggling with and reframe it. And sometimes you have to do that because you have to remind yourself, you know what, there is somebody out there that has it far worse than I do. Far for that these days. So what have you learned as a result of writing this book? Oh gosh, I've learned so much, but I think the biggest lesson that I've learned is one of the concepts that I explain in the book is what my friend, um, who I interviewed, she's one of the people that I interviewed as my research, uh, for one of my research subjects was something she calls boot camping. And by boot camping, what she's referring to is, you know, you have to be prepared in advance. She tells the story perfectly, and I tell the story in her story in the book, and I'll do it briefly right now. So she is married, has 4 children, and about 15 years ago, well, maybe not quite 12 years ago, when I first met her, she told me that she and her husband and her 4 children were gonna sail around the world. Wow, that's a pretty amazing endeavor, and I didn't really take them very seriously until 3 years later when they were setting sail. And they were doing it. And they, you know, for whatever various reasons, they ended up not being able to complete their mission, but what they did do is spent 2 years on the sailboat sailing all through the Caribbean, all up and down the eastern seaboard of the United States. That's a pretty fair accomplishment in my opinion. And when, yeah, um, and they, you know, they were out in blue water, you know, they were far enough away from land that there was nothing but ocean and they encountered some pretty rough seas. And so when she came back to the states, came back on land and came back to Texas, and she, you know, was relating her tales about their, um, you know, their sale. She was telling them about the storms, and she said, Wendy, people would say to me, Oh, I bet you were praying. And she said, you don't have time to pray. You don't have time to do that. You have to be in motion. When you're on a sailboat in rough seas, you don't have time to stop and pray. You have to be in motion the whole time. And she said, it's boot camping, you know, you, we did our praying before we left shore. And we did everything we had to do to prepare before we got out there. And I love that because what she's saying is, you know, you have to boot camp through life. You have to prepare for those rough seas before you get to the rough seas. And in order to own your greatness, you have to be prepared for those obstacles that could take you out mentally and emotionally, so that you can get either around them or through them as fast as you can. So that was one of the biggest takeaways. But I also learned another thing, Bill, is there is a code, and I think I've cracked the code for how to own your greatness, but not just how to own it, but to own it and maintain it. And that's what the book is about. It sounds fascinating, and I love the story. You really do need to spend a lot of time in preparation, I guess. In in carpentry they say measure twice and cut once. You really need to spend that time thinking about it, trying it on, getting prepared for what might happen. So it sounds like a great read. And Wendy, you also have a book. Your first book was called The Top 10 Best Investments in Yourself that's available on Amazon. And of course on your greatness will be available um coming up in August or September so it's coming up pretty soon. I look forward to reading it, Wendy, and uh how do our listeners best get in touch with you and learn more about what what you do in your books? Uh thank you for asking. It's Wendy Nolan.com. My first name and last name is W E N D Y N like November, O L I N like November. Well, I love the concept. I think that it's, you know, harnessing your skills and creating an air of deservability, very important to build your self-confidence towards owning your great greatness, and you gave us a lot to think about. Thanks so much for joining us today. I look forward to reading your book and I'd love to have you back on the show some other time in the future so that we can delve deeper into some, some techniques and ideas here. Super. Thanks, Bill. I appreciate it. All right, we're gonna take a short break. We'll be right back after this, so please stay with us. Hi everybody, this is Spike Riel with the Exit coach. Business owners, can you name the eight key value drivers that you and your manager should be focusing on to increase the value of your business? Introducing the Sellability score index. Visit our website and answer 25 questions about your business, and you will instantly receive your sellability score, showing you how well you stack up in the 8 value driver areas. It's a great management tool. It's absolutely free for our listeners. Just visit exitcoachradio.com and click Get My Sellability score. Just thinking about what will happen to your business if you're gone keep you awake at night? 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